The TCAs are upon on, which means lots of TV news this week.
Next time you shoot a man with a paintball gun, Freckles, you better make sure they got paint on them.
Yes, there are even more of these Real Housewives creatures now. Luckily, the Beverly Hills ladies do seem different enough from the Orange County ones to not seem completely superfluous, but, you know, all of these women are exactly the same in a lot of ways, no matter where they're from. As I always do, I'm sure I'll get more excited about this installment as the season goes on -- the fighting's not fun until you feel like you know them, and that takes a few episodes -- but for now, let's just go over our brand-new, hideously shallow and pathetically materialistic Real Housewives of Beverly Hills as we know them now.
Absolutely Fabulous will be making a comeback this summer with new episodes. Where else can you find women that make "Mommie Dearest look like Winnie-the-Bloody-Pooh"?
At this stage in the game, after Tamra Barney's been thoroughly vilified, Kim Zolciak's been mocked to within an inch of her life, Danielle Staub and Kelly Bensimon have been nationally named both crazy and stupid, and Teresa Giudice has been crowned the queen of vapid new money trash, I cannot understand why anyone would agree to participate in a Real Housewives show. It irreversibly turns you into a joke and it reportedly doesn't even pay that great -- there has to be something very wrong with you to want to do this. But here we go again, with five new women desperate enough to be famous that they'd agree to act like this on television.
You will pry the Masturbating Bear from Conan's cold, dead hands, NBC!
In celebration of the end to a crazy workweek, I proudly present to you some easygoing TV news. Nobody's getting fired and nothing is getting cancelled, so there's no need to panic or go on a Twitter frenzy. Besides, I'm sure you're all exhausted after freaking out over these Beyonce pregnancy rumors.
The news that the producers of The Real Housewives are creating a spin-off with an all-male cast has shaken us to the core. The traditionally woman-centric franchise, changed to be all about men? Everything we know and believe has been turned on its ear! What's next, Mad Women starring Dawn Draper? Actually, that's not a bad idea. Here are some other shows that should get remade with their characters' genders reversed, either because they're already pretty great and we want more, or because they can't possibly get any worse. You be the judge!