Today it was announced that NBC's upcoming sitcom adaptation of Chelsea Handler's memoir Are You There, Vodka? It's Me, Chelsea has found its 20-year-old version of Chelsea Handler in Laura Prepon, a TV veteran who is 30, and a mere five years younger than Chelsea Handler's (alleged, because, come on) current age. We're not saying Laura Prepon won't do a decent job, but nevertheless, this means it's time to cast other comedians' memoirs with their TV-inappropriate counterparts. Because you know TV executives would do half this crap.

Tags: Adam Carolla, Artie Lange, Bethenny Frankel, Chelsea Handler, Debra Messing, French Stewart, Jonathan Lipnicki, Kathy Griffin, Laura Prepon, Lindsay Price, Lisa Lampanelli, Margaret Cho, Nia Vardalos, Patton Oswalt, Penn Badgley, Rhea Perlman, Russell Brand, Snooki, Susie Essman, Tracy Morgan

Because we need a celebrity version of everything, ABC has ordered Celebrity Wife Swap, wherein celebrities from opposing walks of life will switch spouses for a week in the same chaste extended key party format as the regular people edition -- but better! Rumor has it the show is gunning for SNL alum and noted homophobe Victoria Jackson for an episode, so I think it's safe to say they're really reaching for the crazy stars here. And since I live to help the networks with these kinds of things, here are some fun swap ideas I know I for one would watch the hell out of.

Tags: ABC, Celebrity Wife Swap, Donald Trump, Elisabeth Hasselbeck, Ellen DeGeneres, Harry Hamlin, Heidi Montag, James Carville, Jim Bob Duggar, Kathlee Gifford, Katy Perry, Kendra Wilkinson, Khloe Kardashian, Kody Brown, Lamar Odom, Lisa Rinna, Mariah Carey, Matt Roloff, Michelle Duggar, Nick Cannon, Ozzy Osbourne, Portia De Rossi, Randy Quaid, Rob Mariano, Russell Brand, Sarah Palin, Sharon Osbourne, Spencer Pratt, Teresa Giudice, The Fabulous Beekman Boys

Here's some career advice you can take away from the news today: (1) You'll get places in life if you're fearless and have a thing for gross, fat guys; (2) If you're part of a famous singing trio, don't publicize your purity rings; and (3) If you're a famous comedian, don't mock said purity rings unless you want to die. Also, there's news about guest stars, Jennifer Garner, and new comedy shows.

Tags: Daphne Zuniga, Eliza Coupe, Greys Anatomy, Ice Cube, Jennifer Garner, Jonas Brothers, Martha Plimpton, Melrose Place, Russell Brand, Scrubs, Terry Crews

Well, he's been talking about it for years, but it's finally happening... Simon Cowell is leaving American Idol, which means that after the current season (which begins tonight), not one, but two of the original judges will be gone. Paula Abdul's seat has been filled by Ellen DeGeneres (how she'll fare remains to be seen), but the show has always revolved around Simon's cutting remarks and candid criticisms, so replacing him will be a much larger task. We've come up with some people who might be up for the job, or at least could be entertaining to watch while we wait for The X Factor to premiere.

Tags: american idol, dave holmes, david hasselhoff, donald Trump, elton john, gene simmons, gordon ramsay, jc chasez, kathy griffin, lil kim, piers morgan, ricky gervais, rosie o'donnell, russell brand, Sean Diddy Combs, simon cowell