Normally I look forward to summer lineups of shows. Lots of inconsequential programming that rots my brain while I sit in front of a fan and sip margaritas. But I already rotted my brain while bundled up with hot cocoa during the writers' strike. So the prospect of watching some of the recently announced CBS summer programming doesn't exactly thrill me. The Greatest American Dog? Really? A doggie beauty pageant? Is this what we've come to? Worse? Jingles, a competitive reality show where people try and come up with jingles for products. Isn't that what advertisers are for? I fast-forward through commercials. I'm not going to sit through an entire show about them, and if I do, it's going to be Mad Men, not this. Of course there's also another season of Big Brother. Poor Julie Chen, and poor me. I've been watching this irritating season and could really use some time to decompress before another season starts.
To be fair, there are a couple of interesting prospects on the map. The Regis Philbin hosted Million Dollar Password, which has celebs helping contestants figure out words. They even got Betty White who was a frequent guest on the original series since she was married to Password host Allen Ludden. For this game show geek, that's kinda cool. And then there's Swingtown, which is not a dancing reality series, but instead a '70s era drama about the sexual and social revolution. Translation: Lots of wife swapping. Promising. Also, Flashpoint, a drama about cops who fight off gangs and difuses bombs. Since I don't have The Shield to watch, this just may fill the void. Let's hope its good and gritty and goes well with margaritas.
There are a lot of great things about summer. It's not cold outside anymore, your seasonal depression clears up all on its own, and you can give your Tivo a break because none of the important shows are on for a while! OK, OK, there are a few exceptions, but for every Mad Men there are about a hundred I Love Moneys. Here are the reasons we're most excited for life to get back to normal next month, TV-wise.
As everyone who's been around me at all for the past month knows, Swingtown grosses me the hell out. Which is why I'm happy to report that, due to its ridiculously superior ratings (a whole million more people!), the cop show Flashpoint will be swapping time slots with the soft porniest show of the summer. If you want to get your fill of whiny wives and totally hilarious (and totally dated) Deep Throat jokes, you're going to have to start tuning in at 10 PM on Fridays. For the rest of us who prefer Keith Mars in Kevlar to Grant Show in a pornstache, it'll be Thursdays at 10 PM from now on. Cops: 1, Sluts: 0! And it feels so good!