Some people watched the Emmys, some people didn't, and Jon Hamm is coming back to 30 Rock, hooks in hands.
With Dinner for Schmucks coming out, we couldn't help but conjure up a list of the schmuckiest reality stars that have graced our television screens in the past year. This grouping of "unique" individuals makes the family from Home for the Holidays look tame. So get ready for a heaping of pathological liars, fame-hungry douchebags, and other shmuck-worthy reality characters that would make you want to set yourself on fire before the appetizers come out. We're serving them a dish of cold revenge for what they have put us through on their shows.
I watch a lot of reality television and I tend to get my hackles raised by a number of reprehensible people on those shows every week. For too long, many of them have just fallen through the cracks here because they don't really warrant their own posts for one reason or another, so I've decided to start picking the five worst offenders every week in a little round-up of stone-throwing. Below, I state the cases for this week's five nominees and then crown a winner.
Hey everybody, it is time again to judge the reality hordes for their heinous behavior! And what a doozy this week was. I had to cut all kinds of horrible behavior just to make room for my five nominees, but if you'll indulge me, I'd still like to disparage them here in a dishonorable mention kind of way. Ahem! Nice try, Tamar from Braxton Family Values, for emasculating your sister's husband and making her separation proceedings all about you. I'd also like to recognize the Duggars for becoming an infomercial for Focus on the Family this week, as well as LuAnn from The Real Housewives of New York for being a snotty, if hilarious ("Herman Munster shoes"), bitch, and Dana from Extreme Makeover: Weight Loss Edition for constantly and heinously referring to himself in the third person. Now, on to business as usual: five nominees; one trash king to rule them all.
It's finally Friday, and as usual the week has been full of ghastly people behaving terribly on reality shows, so let's do this thing: Five horrible nominees, one trash king crowned at the end. As always, feel free to play along in the comments.
The Real Housewives of New York is back! By all accounts, this is the best one of this franchise, but it's currently in a state of transition without Bethenny. And it definitely was weird to not have her there last night, but the good news is that Alex has lost her damn mind, so it's not like we'll be without an instigator this season. And how nice is it to have a Real Housewives that knows what the hell it's doing? Last night's premiere had more entertainment value than the entire series of The Real Housewives of Miami and more conflict than the over-long, 18-episode boringfest that was The Real Housewives of Atlanta last season. So Bethenny or no, welcome back, New York ladies. In light of the events of last night's premiere, let's run down the current states of each of these crazy winos.
Frankly, just about everybody involved with American Idol at this point could be nominees this week, but for the sake of diversity, I have only one nominee from that horror show and four deserving nominees from other shows entirely. Let's get right to the bloodshed, shall we?
Bethenny Frankel will indeed do double duty, at least until further notice. Plus, you can smell like Simon Cowell if you want. Nice little Tuesday.
In response to some rumors to the contrary, TLC has announced that they have no plans to include Jon Gosselin's alleged girlfriend Deanna Hummel in future episodes of Jon & Kate Plus 8, pretty much just to spare us the grossness of it all, which is awfully kind of them. Other shows should be that considerate. Here are a few suggestions for reality stars we wouldn't mind seeing relegated to behind-the-scenes-only action on our favorite shows from now on.
Which Apprentice: Martha finalist, soon to be a cast member on The Real Housewives Of New York, was just spotted acting a total diva -- tasting like eight different soup options -- in no less fancy-ass a location than the Hale & Hearty Soups location in the basement at 30 Rock?
I mean, don't get me wrong. I love H&HS. I guess she didn't see the recent episode of Curb Your Enthusiasm where Larry busts someone for taking advantage of free samples. Because it seriously was eight different soups. She also tried to cut in front of me when I went to pay for my salad, but her (I assume) assistant had already paid for her anyway. Poor girl.