Before Charlie Sheen introduced the concept to us via a series of confusing and ill-advised interviews, we had no way to rate the quality of "winning." But now we know that Sheen apparently is "winning," thanks to his tiger blood (i.e. ferocity), Adonis DNA (i.e. attractiveness), ability to defeat earthworms with words (i.e. articulateness), ability to convert tin cans into gold (i.e. improve shows/films by his mere presence) and "bitchin' life" (i.e. substance abuse, promiscuity, violence or other illegal activity, none of which we condone or endorse). Rating each category on a scale of 1 to 10, we thought we'd determine the "winning" level of some of the biggest, most outrageous celebrities out there. If you, too, can come close to Sheen's winningness (he scores 10s across the board), he may want to party with you. Or follow you on Twitter.
We're not sure that anyone actually demanded an inside look at Paris Hilton's life, but nevertheless, Oxygen is rolling out The World According to Paris this week. To be honest, we'll probably tune in only because we think she's strangely fascinating and, whether you like it or not, extremely talented in the art of self-promotion (for example: a show called The World According to Paris airing on Oxygen). But with that said, there are plenty of other celebrities that we would've rather seen as the focus of a series like this. Here's just a few: