will fast-forward four years next season for "dramatic purposes," according to a Fox spokesperson. (That's genius, by the way. From now on, every time I do something that doesn't make sense I'm just going to say I did it for "dramatic purposes." Office-mate: "Why are you talking to that photo of Smokey the Bear, Mindy?" Me: "Dramatic purposes." This will work.) Considering this show has about as much respect for temporal continuity as Jack does for Muslims (I went there!), the leap will put the story in the year 2017 and Bauer at the ripe old age of 52, according to the New York Post's carbon-dating
. But don't worry, this spokesperson guy is pretty sure the writers are just going to pretend that isn't happening. "We've always built in significant passages of time between seasons of '24.' Luckily, like all great iconic characters, Jack Bauer is ageless." Translation: Shut up! We do what we want! Now I see where Jack gets it.