I probably don't want to answer that question... given that I keep tuning in. However, I just wrote a gallery the other day about the most unrealistic or implausible things that had happened on Prison Break in the first three seasons, but I could probably write a sequel based on the first two hours of this new season alone. Seriously. SPOILER ALERT: If you haven't seen the premiere yet because you just got back from Labor Day and having a life. The full episode is posted after the jump, for your viewing pleasure, just skip over my rantings until after you've watched.

One of the few remaining cable nets with a unique brand identity is kicking that narrowcasting ish to the curb, son! TV Land told the Wall Street Journal that by the end of 2009, 50% of their programming will be original series. It's so hard to say goodbye to my Sunday afternoon hungover viewings of Bonanza, but the good news is that they'll be focusing on creating trashy reality shows. Because we need more of those. The article highlights one such gem, Cougar, which is exactly what it sounds like: a Bachelorette for older ladies looking for younger gents. They'll also be looking to air reruns of more recent series, like Friends. Because we need more of those.

If you're a fan of non-superhero comic books and you're not particularly squeamish, you've probably read and enjoyed writer Garth Ennis and artist Steve Dillon's tour de force series, Preacher. Their tale of small-town preacher Jesse Custer, the love of his life Tulip and his vampire best friend Cassidy was less about Custer's super-ability to make anyone do what he says (the byproduct of being possessed by an angel/demon half-breed) and even less about his mission to track down an on-the-run God. It was more about the lengths two friends and two lovers will go to in order to protect each other... as well as about trying to come up with the nastiest visuals comicdom had ever seen, from the man who had sex with meat to the boy who had "a face like an arse." Sounds like it would have made a great HBO series, right? Apparently, wrong.

And thank the good lord that they do, because who would entertain us if they didn't? Despite the lackluster performance of Michael Ian Black's current Comedy Central show, the network is moving forward on a pilot called Michael and Michael Have Issues, a sketch comedy show starring Michael Ian Black and Michael Showalter. THR also reports that character actor Josh Pais, (who I don't know much about, other than that he was in my favorite Damages Season 1 episode, and considering Damages is about the furthest thing from comedy as you can get, he must be awfully versatile) has been cast as a regular as well. It may not be a State DVD (why, MTV?! Why?!), but between this, Wainy Days, Joe Lo Truglio's fabulous cameo in Pineapple Express and Dame Delilah's Fantasy Ranch, there's plenty of State love going around to keep me sane until MTV releases their cruel, claw-like grip on those DVDs. I hope.