Greek scribe Carter Covington has adapted the awesome 90s teen flick 10 Things I Hate About You for ABC Family. And yet, as I type this I'm still sitting here waiting for a Captain Ron series to be created. (Seriously.) Like the movie, the half-hour comedy will follow two sisters, one openly bitchy, and one, well, also bitchy, but popular and not quoting Betty Friedan like the other one, as they deal with high school. Sadly, you can't say things like "beer-flavored nipples" and "I'm a crack-whore who should have made my skeazy boyfriend wear a condom" on ABC Family (probably), so this will likely be considerably less awesome than the original, I don't care how popular Greek is. Let's just hope the smut novelist/principal character is included. And that Allison Janney plays her. Which she won't. Death to this thing!

I haven't been following Sons of Anarchy's ratings at all because I assumed they weren't that great considering how heavy and gritty the series is, but boy was I wrong. The show averages a whopping (for a cable net) five million viewers per episode, which is why FX has gone ahead and ordered a second season! SOA is a brilliant series and by far my favorite new show, and I'm thrilled that that many people are loving it as much as I am. Personally, I only know of one other fan besides me, and he doesn't really count because he works here, but I'm sure these fellow Sons fans do, indeed, exist -- numbers don't lie!

I'm still upset over the impending cancellation of Sarah Connor, but at least there is some good TV news in the world to balance it out. Fringe has been given the official full-season order, adding an additional 13 episodes to its original nine. If you bust out a calculator and add those two numbers together like I did, you get 22 whole episodes! That's downright respectable! The show got a ratings bump up to 10 million viewers from nine million last week, and is the number one new show with the 18-49ers, making it the exact opposite of The Sarah Connor Chronicles, thus Fox is into it.

Has there ever been a greater cinematic pairing than Ellen Burstyn and prescription medication in Requiem for a Dream? OK, yes, maybe there has. But I could watch that woman stare at infomercials in a fantastical haze on loop forever, so I am very excited to hear that she will be playing the matriarch of a pharmaceutical family in the new Showtime pilot Possible Side Effects. And yes, I do realize that just because her family sells pills doesn't necessarily means she'll be a-poppin' 'em, but if TV has taught me anything about matriarchs, it's that the one thing they like better than gin and manipulating everyone is pills, so hopefully she'll be drinking some of her own Kool-Aid on this show. The pilot is also being written and directed by Tim Robbins, so it'll likely be good and preachy, or annoying and preachy, depending on your outlook, but if that's what you're worried about you really need to rethink things because Ellen Burstyn and pills will be on the screen at the very same time. Get your priorities straight!

Hey, there's finally some good news about that terrifying tailspin the country's currently in! It's inspired a promising new HBO series! Yayyyyy, we're saved! Deets: Americatown is set 40 years in the future, when, following the aftermath of a string of national disasters, oil crises and financial drama, Americans start moving to other cities, forming Chinatown-esque "Americatowns" within them. Being the minority in a new city and all, Americans then find themselves on the most un-fun side of the immigration debate in their new countries, facing deportation threats, general hostility and crappy restaurant jobs. Yeah, I thought it sounded pretty bleak too, until I remembered Wee Britain's Fat Ammy's American Style Restaurant from Arrested Development. And actually Wee Britain itself, come to think of it, and thought, you know, maybe these Americatowns are just about like, donut mountains and ten gallon hats and stuff. Maybe this thing's a comedy! No? It's a likely prophetic view of our future? Oh God, we're all doomed. Console yourself with a Fat Ammy's clip, after the jump.

After a seemingly endless hiatus from TV (in reality it was only about five years) Sarah Michelle Gellar has decided to grace the small screen with her blonde and beautiful presence again. SMG has been tapped to star in a new HBO half-hour series, The Wonderful Maladys. And despite the fact that it seems like this family drama about three dysfunctional siblings is probably going to break one of my television cardinal rules (No. 3: Thou shalt not use character names in punny or cutesy ways in the title of a show) I'm actually kind of excited. Mostly because I'm only speculating that the siblings are the Malady family and I'm hoping that I'm wrong. The series doesn't seem to have any supernatural elements to it, but the creator does compare her character to "a drug addict with a to-do list." That sounds promising, so I'll give it a shot. I love SMG and if it is between watching a show with her, or watching a show with her husband, I'll pick the one with her any day (even though Freddie was slightly redeemed by a surprisingly funny Brian Austin Green) no matter how many of my insane TV rules it breaks.

Do Not Disturb may very well be the first show axed this season, though Fox refuses to come right out and say it. Instead the network is just politely saying that the tedious comedy has been pulled from the lineup for next week and replaced with an episode of 'Til Death. Note to Jerry O'Connell: If your show is being replaced by 'Til Death, its time to start asking your agent about new jobs. Sure there is a minuscule chance that the ratings for the inexplicably popular 'Til Death will tank and Fox will decide Disturb wasn't such a bad option. But that's not going to happen. Networks hate to use the canceled word. Shows are just "shelved" instead, and occasionally the additional episodes are aired on a Friday night at 2 am, so they can say they aired them for contractual reasons or whatever, or so the one fan out there will be happy and stop sending emails to the network president. So Fox can call it whatever it wants, but it seems that Do Not Disturb isn't likely to disturb viewers Wednesday nights any longer. Oh, and can someone give Jesse Tyler Ferguson a job on a good show? Please?

Because virtually the only pilot news we ever read anymore is either a remake or a literary adaptation, I bring you the latest of the former. The Partridge Family is being remade as a modern, "tongue-in-cheek" update of the series, which, I mean, I guess it's possible that it could be a scathing satire of the current state of the music industry, with a giant nod to the fact that only teens with television shows sell any records anymore, but this is Hollywood we're talking about. This thing will be on CBS or something and it will be a family show about a family playing family songs in a familial fashion on their family Hum-V (well, it's an update) and we'll all learn valuable lessons about family values and sitting down at the table together every night for pot roast and Tang. That being said, if Bonaduce's involved, I am so in!

This morning when I hopped online to check out the rest of the world's post-Emmys reactions, I noticed mostly the stuff I expected to see -- the five hosts were crap, Bryan Cranston's win was an upset, yay Mad Men, etc -- but one thing I noticed from both my friends and blog commenters from around the Interwebs was a 30 Rock backlash I didn't even know existed. Well, I'm here to tell you why 30 Rock deserved its Best Comedy Series win last night, detractors!

This is probably the geekiest article I'll write this month, but with my love for all things Doctor Who and Harry Potter (I just saw Daniel Radcliffe naked in Equus last night!), I just couldn't help myself. According to the reputable source The Sun current Doctor David Tennant nixed a proposal that would have Harry Potter mastermind J.K. Rowling guesting on the show's annual Christmas special feature .