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The Telefile
The Most Heinous Person on Reality TV This Week

You'd think these people would run out of awful steam towards the end of summer, but they're still as obnoxious as they always are.

Porsche (Big Brother)
She took the producers' bait by opening Pandora's box and unleashing the lame duo twist... again, which was basically the show's scheme to keep the veterans around. It worked, since we're still stuck with Rachel (who is at least trying to win this game), and it pushed Shelly right out the door. Way to shoot yourself in the foot, Porsche.

Lindsay (Toddlers & Tiaras)
We've seen a lot of things on this show: flippers, glitz makeup, etc... but we've never seen a four-year-old wearing fake boobs. That really took the cake, but Lindsay was just as proud as she could be of little Maddy, who tossed on the baby C-cups as well as a padded booty and strutted her stuff on stage as Dolly Parton. After all, Lindsay wore this same costume when she was a tot competing on the pageant circuit.

Heidi (Famous Food)
It's amazing that she's gone all season without landing on the list, but the ditzy blond really earned her spot this week for barely showing up, going on the (soon-to-be-cancelled) George Lopez talk show and neglecting to promote the restaurant she was working at, not to mention forgetting that restaurants need to make money by filling tables and serving paying customers.

Orlando (Top Chef: Just Desserts)
We know that chefs can be cocky, but usually that's after they've proven themselves. Orlando thinks he's so amazing and so far superior that it seems to physically pain him to work with the other "lesser" chefs on the show. It also pains him when the judges don't like what he's served them, so instead of taking the constructive criticism, he has to spout off about how they are wrong for not personally liking a particular flavor combination. Don't bitch about the guest judges not liking chocolates and lemons, dude. She's got a point.

Juicy Joe (Real Housewives of New Jersey)
Sending threatening text messages to your brother-in-law is one thing; letting your daughter practice gymnastics on a marble floor while you get sloppy drunk in front of friends and family is another. Also, he made some sort of unintelligible, but presumably awful, comment about why he's stuck with Teresa, and took no responsibility at all for his horrible actions at the christening.

Winner: Heidi
Not only did she hog a table for herself and her security guards while real customers waited, invited annoying wannabe famewhores to the soft opening and constantly helped herself to "The Heidi" cocktail at the bar, but we also learned that she can't even Twitter for herself. She has to have a "tech guy" do it for her! Guess when you're functionally illiterate, 140 characters may seem like 140 million.

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