Oh no, Dr. Bill!
Dr. Bill (Tattoo School)
This dude's a nightmare. Seems all nice, but he's teaching people how to tattoo in two weeks, largely using real-life volunteers. Those people are clearly so desperate for a tattoo that they are willing to be a guinea pig, but maybe they don't realize that Dr. Bill couldn't care less about artistic ability or quality. He spent the premiere being more concerned about the speed in which these generic tattoos were done than actually making them good. His claim is that his two-week course eschews the long apprenticeship process, but we learned two of his graduates said that they were seeking apprenticeships, so obviously no one is going to actually pay for tattoos from his alumni.
Kody (Sister Wives)
Meri has wanted to go skiing for the past 22 years. Twenty-two! And when he finally takes her (he's clearly had experience skiing... with other wives, maybe?), for some reason he doesn't allow her to have poles, so she wrenches her knee. And while she's in pain, he mentions how he was so much better about proposing to his newest wife than to her because he'd had practice. Classy dude. Also, he was insensitive to Christine, but shrugged it off and expected her to change and be more grateful (and has obviously convinced Meri and the other wives that this is the standard course of action). Plus, there's something more than a little bit fishy about that sports car that someone "gave" him from "work."
Juicy Joe (Real Housewives of New Jersey)
We expect this Neanderthal to belittle his brother-in-law, but to lash out as his own wife like he did this week was pretty reprehensible. He told her that he didn't want her even talking to her family members (including her parents) and that he didn't want her brother or his family in their house. When she objected he said, "When I say something, you fucking listen. And shut up." Who'd have thought we'd feel bad for a woman who took her ten-year-old bra shopping on national television?
Kalon (The Bachelorette)
He applied to be on The Bachelorette, likely knowing that the woman he'd be dating is a single mom and then said in public that kids are essentially a lot of baggage. Then he topped that off by telling a single dad that he's a poor parent because he left his child to come on a dating show. Maybe that's true, but what business is it of the guy who arrived in a helicopter and is a major douchebag to boot?
King of the Nut Shots (America's Got Talent)
Being able to recover quickly after getting hit in the balls repeatedly is not a "talent." It might qualify you to star in Jackass, but does this dude (who calls himself Horse) really think that he'll be able to make a Vegas act from this? Clearly, the judges love him.
Winner: Juicy Joe
He was only in this week's episode for about five minutes and still managed to top our list. And not only for his quaint demands that Teresa obey him completely, but also for telling his wife to bugger off when she tried to point out that their children should know their cousins. So glad that he skipped Jacqueline's Field Day for a trip to the Jersey shore, and that the cameras didn't follow him.
Think you've got game? Prove it! Check out Games Without Pity, our new area featuring trivia, puzzle, card, strategy, action and word games -- all free to play and guaranteed to help pass the time until your next show starts.
What are people saying about your favorite shows and stars right now? Find out with Talk Without Pity, the social media site for real TV fans. See Tweets and Facebook comments in real time and add your own -- all without leaving TWoP. Join the conversation now!
MOST RECENT POSTS