We thought the Dance Moms stars would come back with a vengeance, but it seems that Abby Lee Miller is saving the good stuff for later.
Ruth (The Pitch)
She came up with a tagline that the client hated, fought with her boss and argued with a client at a meeting that she wasn't even invited to. In fact, she was specifically told not to come along because she wasn't prepared. She's lucky they landed the account despite her, because we'd have fired her on the spot for her unprofessional behavior.
Shannon (Gene Simmons' Family Jewels)
She spent all of last season wanting to get married, and now that she's a newlywed, she's bored and wants to adopt a kid. While there a lot of children out there who could use a good home, boredom isn't a great reason to start adopting, especially when her entire family is massively against the idea. So instead of taking a step back or considering fostering instead, she tried to bully Gene on to her side by taking him to visit adorable toddlers. Forcing people to take on a new kid against their will is not going to end well for anyone.
Christina (On the Fly)
Airline travel is stressful, and cranky old bitches like this lady make it so much worse. While her plane was undergoing some maintenance, she bitched that she had to wait at the airport for three hours, as they said the plane might leave sooner. Only three hours? We could see her attitude if she'd had to wait three days, but she got a travel voucher and still complained and tried to incite a riot at the airport. If we'd had our way, we'd have chucked her on the broken plane and wished her bon voyage.
Aprille (Extreme Couponing)
She doesn't stalk cashiers or consider coupons to be methadone like Joyce, but she's still somehow worse. For starters, her coworkers might be getting diabetes from all the free cookies she uses as bribes so she can use their IP addresses to print out coupons for more cookies. It's a vicious sugar-laden cycle. She also forced her boyfriend into a tiny corner of the basement to do his work/studying so that she could have room to display her horde in the middle of the living room. Because people would much rather see a hundred bags of potato chips than a desk and computer when they come to visit.
Russell Brand (MTV Movie Awards)
Somebody stop him. Please. His lame attempts at humor fell flat and his jokes about Justin Bieber and prison rape, Kanye's stage crashing and Michael Fassbender's penis were unoriginal and painful. May he never be allowed to host any awards show again, no matter how pointless.
Because we already feel bad for any poor kid who is possibly coming into a house where he/she is unwanted and resented by his older siblings.
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