Things we didn't need to hear this week: Gia and Joe Giudice on Real Housewives of New Jersey) chatting about how she has a hairy grill and the birds and the bees; Susan on Hell's Kitchen discussing her pubic grooming habits; and Cathy from Dance Moms talking trash about Abby Lee Miller. The Candy Apples-focused Dance Moms nearly killed us, but these other people still managed to be even worse examples of humankind:
Amanda (Toddlers & Tiaras)
The double T&T episodes gave us a lot of contenders as the Georgia-based event had a director and a whole family of crazy people who were horrible, but Amanda managed to beat them all out. The woman has four children and nine nannies. That's a number that even Camille Grammer would find excessive. She sent the kids and nannies in a separate car on the road trip to the event so she could have quiet time (even though the kids were begging for her). She spent the entire episode with a mimosa in her hand. And at one point her daughter Mimi was ready to compete and needed attention and Amanda had a fit that there wasn't a nanny available to comfort her child. Also, she didn't know what a bow was. A bow! She made the mom and dad who ran a brothel (well, officially, it's an adult entertainment company with strippers who will come to your door) and flew to the event in a helicopter look normal.
Joe Francis (Couples Therapy)
We shouldn't expect a lot from the creator of Girls Gone Wild, but we'd like him to be an actual person who recognizes emotions. He berated his girlfriend Abbey because she didn't disagree with the therapist who said he was too controlling and was completely unaware of how controlling he was being during his rant. He dropped her on the ground during some horseplay (that was unwanted on her part) and told her it was her fault. Then he had the nerve to berate her for allegedly embarrassing him. And when Flavor Flav and his fiancée Liz were having some issues, Joe said that he wanted them gone because their negativity was upsetting to him (totally missing the whole point of therapy) and even worse, he was upset that their crumbling relationship was taking the focus of the show away from him.
Jeremiah (Breaking Amish)
Every time he shows up on screen, we just want to punch him in the face. Is that a normal reaction? He just seems to exist to make life miserable for everyone, particularly Kate. While the rest of her "friends" don't understand boundaries, he's the one that seems really upset when she says they aren't allowed to just crash and be loud in the room that her modeling agency is paying for. And he immaturely jumped in the pool and made a nuisance of himself, as if Kate trying to do her job is a personal affront to him. Actually, perhaps it truly is offensive to his unemployed ass. Then he drunkenly fought with a bouncer, got kicked out of a club and started crying and acting even more moronically than normal. It's like he thinks he's a one-man Amish Jersey Shore.
Matt G. (Does Someone Have to Go?)
This show just really brings out the worst in people, and while both Matt H. and Matt G. seemed like people we'd hate to work with, Matt G. was the one who spent about three hours a day working and the rest of the day doodling and playing with empty folders. His excuse was that he's so good at his job he only needs a few hours to finish it up, but he never took the suggestion that he could take on more and was offended that people may vote for him to be fired because he makes double what most of them do and does half as much. We're still not sure how he escaped the chopping block.
James (The Bachelorette)
We're going to add the producers to this one as well (and Desiree since she's guilty by association), since they were the ones that set up the world's worst idea for a date, sending James and Des to the Jersey Shore to see the damage that Hurricane Sandy did and to gawk at an old couple who lost pretty much everything. It was manipulative and terrible to watch. We can't imagine that anyone living there would really be comforted by the fact that two idiots from a reality show came to look at the destruction. James then really took the cake by talking about how he had cheated on his ex-girlfriend and we didn't buy him saying he would never do it again. It all seemed calculated, like he knew that Des would have to give him a rose after they gave up their fancy dinner to the old couple (in the most staged scenario ever), so he unloaded his dirty secrets at the most opportune time.
Winner: Joe Francis
We're pretty sure he's going to win this a lot as we see him continue to emotionally abuse Abbey and act horrifically to everyone around him in order to get more screentime. The way he ignored the fact that Abbey didn't want to climb the rock wall and then micromanaged her every move was just the tip of the iceberg.
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