To celebrate the illustrious return of some of the most horrifyingly despicable people on reality television, we've dedicated this week's entire edition to the cast of Teen Mom 2 because there were just so many awful people to choose from the season premiere. Don't worry, Real Housewives and Real Worlders… we'll still have you on our radar when we return to our regular format next week.
Most Annoying Absentee Father: Adam
Chelsea's ex is fresh out of prison (and not for the first time) and managed to get another girl pregnant at some point. All of that would be fine, except he barely sees his daughter and when he did, he told Aubree all about how she was going to have a new sibling (that she'll likely never get to know). We've learned to expect him not to be around, but now all of a sudden he's demanding shared custody rights even though he's barely been a part of this kids' life -- all so he can likely show off for his new girlfriend? Don't use your kid that way, dude.
Person Who Most Needs a Clue: Chelsea
Chelsea might be the most irritating of all the Teen Mom 2 moms, mostly because she lacks the ability to get her act together and also keeps making the same dumb mistakes. She knew that Adam was going to be a jerk to her, but yet went to meet him for coffee instead of letting him go through legal channels. She knew that getting an education would be a challenge, but became a literal beauty school dropout because she has so much stress in her life. Good thing she's got her father to foot all her bills, or else she might know what real stress looks like.
Most Self-Involved Mother: Kailyn
She's pregnant again, with a baby from her new husband, and wants to move three hours away so that she can be closer to him. All well and good, but she is seriously clueless about how Jo (who actually seems to be an involved father) feels about her taking their kid out of state. She is thinking about herself, not her son, and even her friends tell her that. There's possibly a compromise here, wherein she agrees to drive their son back on certain weekends so that Jo isn't losing contact with their baby so her new new husband Javi isn't traveling ridiculous distances all the time.
Person Who Doesn't Know How to Do Anything Without Lawyers: Jo
Perhaps it is because Kailyn doesn't actually listen to what he's saying, but Jo seems to be very quick to start legal custody battles. Instead of coming up with a compromise, or finding some sort of middle ground, he wants to keep Kailyn from moving at all because it might be inconvenient for him and also seemingly to punish her for moving on with her life.
Person Who Needs Their Mouth Washed Out with Soap: Barbara
Barbara does deserve some recognition for letting her possibly felonious, recovering heroin addict daughter come to live with her, but she's got some rage issues of her own. She knows that Jenelle is ungrateful, but expects that she'll be appreciative of Barbara driving her several hours to get an abortion. But she isn't, and shortly after Barbara gives Jenelle a lecture on how Jace's foul-language is all her fault, Barbara starts loudly screaming profanity herself… in front of this poor kid.
Just the Worst of them All: Jenelle
Well, she's pregnant again and living at home with her mother, with the excuse that heroin makes you forget about birth control and not be able to save money. Possibly both true statements, but the way she says it makes it sound like she was forced to do heroin, which didn't garner any sympathy from us. Neither did the way she complained about how difficult taking the abortion pill is, what with having to sit for an hour to let it dissolve in her mouth. And this blog isn't really the place for an abortion rights discussion, but it was her choice to do this. Things are just so hard for her, right? And then she is rude to her mother and once Barbara starts screaming, she starts yelling and they both forget about the child whose mouth Jenelle literally tried to scrub with soap just moments before.
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