Nobody gives massages like J.Love gives massages.
The Client List: The Complete First Season
The very definition of "mindless entertainment," this Lifetime-produced serial probably should have been titled The Best Little Massage Parlor in Texas. Like that overbearingly upbeat Dolly Parton/Burt Reynolds movie musical, The Client List takes a house of ill repute (in this case a massage parlor where happy endings are on the menu for the members of the eponymous "client list") and turns it into the happiest place on earth. Sure, the characters encounter challenges and setbacks on a weekly basis, but ain't nothing's gonna break their stride. The happiest pseudo-hooker in the place is Riley (Jennifer Love Hewitt, who serves quadruple duty as an actor, producer, director and writer), who took a job there after her husband walked out on her and their two young kids. In no time at all, she's become the favorite amongst the female employees (excluding one bitchy rival), not to mention the male clientele. Meanwhile, on the homefront, Riley puts up with her pushy mother (Cybil Shepherd), clashes with an uptight fellow mom (Elisabeth Rohm) and makes eyes at her studly bro-in-law, Colin Egglesfield). It's all soapy nonsense of course, but there's something strangely addictive about the show's relentless sunniness and lack of shame about its clichéd storylines and prurient setting. (Sorry, Mr. Skin fans -- J. Love is practically sewn into her low-cut outfits to avoid any chance of an ill-timed slip.) A new season kicks off on March 10; we defy you to watch Season 1 and not want to tune in.
Extras: Deleted scenes and a short, unmemorable blooper reel.
Click here to read our original review
Rocko's Modern Life: The Complete Series
Mighty Morphin Power Rangers: Season 2, Vol. 1
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Rise of the Turtles
Phineas & Ferb: The Perry Files - Animal Agents
It's a cornucopia of kid-friendly TV on DVD collections this week. Let's start with the oldest (and most nostalgia-tinged) set first, Rocko's Modern Life, which aired on Nickelodeon from 1993 to 1996 and chronicled the misadventures of the titular wallaby, transplanted from the land Down Under to O-Town, America. The same year that Rocko hit the airwaves, the live-action chopsocky series Mighty Morphin' Power Rangers -- which mixed action sequences lifted from a Japanese series into dramatic scenes in which young American teenagers stiffly read their lines at each other -- became a sensation. This volume collects the first half of the show's 1994-1995 season, which was followed by a modestly successful feature film. For those interested in more recent kiddie fare, Rise of the Turtles collects the first six episodes from the rebooted Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles animated franchise, while Animal Agents collects the exploits of Phineas and Ferb's pet platypus Perry, who battles Dr. Doofenshmirtz with the united forces of OWCA (the Organization Without a Cool Acronym) while his owners are off pursuing their own interests.
Extras: Rocko's Modern Life features select commentary tracks on Season 3 episodes, the original version of the pilot and short featurettes. Power Rangers offers no bonus goodies, while Rise of the Turtles features six animatics and a karaoke music video and Animal Agents has an OWCA recruitment video, a tour of the Platybus and easter egg menus.
Originally broadcast on CBS from 1956 to 1957 and then on ABC from '57 to '58, this black-and-white drama was an anthology series of stories set in and around the titular military academy. Produced in full cooperation with the Department of Defense and the Army (which opened the school's files to the writers for material) West Point saw a number of famous (and soon to be famous) actors pass through its doors, including Larry Hagman, Clint Eastwood and Leonard Nimoy. It was also a training ground for a young writer named Gene Roddenberry who would go on to dream up a little show called Star Trek. Just imagine if he had cast Eastwood or Hagman as Spock instead of Nimoy...
Extras: None to speak of.
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