It's that time of year again when a new season of wannabes and has-beens put on some uncomfortable shoes and inappropriate flesh-revealing costumes in order to boogie down for the American public. This season is shaping up to be interesting, with Jewel and Nancy O'Dell dropping out because of injuries before the first episode even airs. But while some celebs are working hard, to the point of physically breaking, we imagine there are some who are just not going to get it (Steve-O, we presume). So with that in mind, we looked back at the celebrities (and we use that term loosely) from seasons past who were unable to wow us with their skills on the dance floor, no matter how hard they tried (or didn't try, in some cases). It was really a challenge to narrow this one down to 10.
1. Master P (Season 2)
Yes, the rapper stepped in and took his son's place at the last minute, but that only explains why he stomped all over the place for the first week... not for the subsequent times he was on the show. He ignored advice from the judges, blatantly refused to wear proper footwear and drove his poor little perky partner Ashly to the brink of tears. Clearly, he didn't want to be there and had a bad attitude, which was really fun for no one.
2. Cloris Leachman (Season 7)
We've got to give her credit for even trying at her age, but this hammy actress turned Season 7 into an unbelievable joke. She didn't (or couldn't) learn proper dance technique, so she just goofed around and did raunchy or inappropriate things for a laugh. It was amusing (for the first couple weeks), but not really suitable for a dancing competition. If America insisted on keeping her around, she should have really shocked us, by actually doing what she was there for.
3. Floyd Mayweather Jr. (Season 5)
Was there ever another celebrity (aside from Master P) who wanted to be on this show less than Floyd Mayweather Jr.? He spent entire interviews talking about his upcoming boxing matches instead of actually learning to dance. He seemingly had a huge fan base and an opportunity to do well, but his lack of attention to the task at hand thankfully snuffed him out fairly quickly. Which is probably what he wanted all along.
4. Sara Evans (Season 3)
She actually quit. So that makes her pretty terrible. And she wasn't a great dancer. So did she really quit because of personal problems, or did she opt out of the show before she could be voted out? Either way, quitters never win.
5. Billy Ray Cyrus (Season 4)
We'll give him an award for trying, but some people are just not born to dance, and the "Achy Breaky" crooner is one of those people. He sure did try with the hand that he was given, but his popularity (some of it from being Miley's dad) kept him around long past his peak. At which point, he just seemed give up and start pandering to the audience with his hillbilly shtick.
6. Kenny Mayne (Season 2)
It's hard coming on this show with no discernible fan base, meaning the ESPN fans who tune in to see Kenny talk about sports aren't necessarily the same demographic who watch this particular brand of reality hell. Sports stars are a bit different, because athletes have a leg up (in most cases), but sportscasters? Not so much. He was awkward and goofy and uncoordinated and was out in Week 1. However, we're delighted to have his continued commentary on the show that features him behind a desk. That's the perfect place for him.
7. Wayne Newton (Season 5)
You'd expect someone who has made their living as an entertainer to be a little bit more fluid on the dance floor. Not so in the case of Wayne Newton. He couldn't master the footwork, so he relied on comedy instead, which is a cop-out, even at his age. and that faux ponytail and masked outfit? We're still having nightmares about that one. Nearly as horrifying as Marie Osmond's doll dress later that same season. Scary.
8. Jerry Springer (Season 3)
Another case of someone being bolstered along way too far into the season, not because of their dancing skills, but because of their vocal and voting fans. Springer's fans ate up his silly style and his plea to stick around to learn how to waltz for his daughter's wedding, needlessly pulled on the heartstrings of the public. It's not nice to manipulate people like that. We're quite sure with all his money he could have afforded some lessons at the local Arthur Murray Dance Center.
9. Monica Seles (Season 6)
While some celebs have an overabundance of personality (Cloris and Jerry for instance) some have too little, and in order to charm the viewers with your dancing performances, you've got to be a little interesting. We're not saying you've got to be a total idiot out there, but if you can't move well (which is strange for someone who can bounce around a tennis court) at least try and smile, or pretend like you aren't being tortured. Something.
10. Mark Cuban (Season 5)
He did improve as he went along (not to mention lost a ton of weight) but he was in way over his head. Which again, is fine. Some stars aren't cut out for this. But bribing people to vote (even if it is jokingly) isn't exactly playing fair. Not all the fellow competitors are billionaires... that's why they're on this show in the first place, not to use it as a substitute for Jenny Craig.
Got more celebs who stumbled on Dancing With the Stars? Share below.
MOST RECENT POSTS