Kate was a trainwreck on Dancing With the Stars (getting worse as the weeks went on), but that doesn't mean she should cut her reality TV losses. In addition to her new TLC show in which she'll be learning about the trials and tribulations of real women, we've thought of some other programs that could not only help her further extend her 15 minutes, but could also actually benefit from her unique (shall we say) personality and name recognition.
10. Charm School
As long as there are trashy girls looking for love on reality television, there will always be a need for Charm School. Ricki Lake was terrible as a headmistress, but we've got a feeling that if given the power, Kate would have those skanks minding their manners. And we'd love to just watch someone try to rip out her fake hair during the reunion.
9. Dinner: Impossible
Actually, we'd like it to be more of a Dinner: Impossible/Iron Chef showdown sort of thing. Robert Irvine and Kate could go head-to-head to create a healthy meal for eight picky children in less than 15 minutes without them losing interest, all the while dodging a desperate, attention-seeking Jon.
8. Kirstie Alley's Big Life
We love the idea of these two getting together. Kate could easily whip Kirstie into shape, since we all know Kate doesn't tolerate laziness. Kate's kids would love all of Kirstie's lemurs, and the pair of them could chase off the snap-happy stalkerazzi hiding out in the bushes.
7. The Amazing Race
If there is one person on the planet organized and focused enough to travel around the world, pay attention to detail-oriented clues and scream at taxi drivers to go faster, it is Kate. She was brave to mother and raise eight children, so jumping into waterfalls should seem like a vacation. And she'd always show up at the mat with perpetual bitchface, no matter if she's first or last, which would wonderfully confuse poor Phil. Her hardest task, however, would be finding a partner who doesn't quit on her after one leg.
6. The Marriage Ref
She spent years telling Jon what to do, so she's practically a pro at looking down her nose at inappropriate behavior. She really should be a regular panelist. And before anyone gripes that she should be disqualified due to her failed marriage, consider that her fellow judges could include the likes of Madonna, Larry David and Alec Baldwin. 'Nuff said.
We were tempted to suggest sending Kate out on a fishing boat in Alaska with the Deadliest Catch crew so we wouldn't have to see her for months, but then we decided that Hoarders would be where she could actually do some good. Besides, we'd be afraid that the crew of the Time Bandit would never forgive us. With eight children and one immaculate house, Kate would be well-suited to help folks with severe hoarding problems. She'd have those troubled collectors whipped into shape and living in spotless homes in no time. And all that filth wouldn't faze a woman who had to change diapers for six infants simultaneously.
4. L.A. Ink
Kat Von D needs help: her shop is a mess and she keeps hiring managers who don't understand how her world works. While Kate might not have a particular fondness for tattoos, she's certainly an organizational queen. Not only would she have Kat's shop running smoothly, but she'd also put an end to all of the in-fighting immediately with her no-nonsense child-rearing techniques.
3. The Bachelorette
Kate clearly didn't get a boyfriend out of her stint on Dancing With the Stars, like many other celebrities do. In fact, her partner Tony looked like he could barely tolerate her, at best. But this single mom was picked to star in a future edition of The Bachelorette, she'd have guys at least pretending to fall for her, which is better than nothing.
2. American Idol
They'll need a straight-talking, no-holds barred personality to fill Simon's shoes next season, so who better than Kate? America already either loves her or hates her, which would be great for ratings, and Ellen's presence on the panel proves that you don't need music experience to judge this show.
1. Celebrity Apprentice
Keeping a task on track? Yup, Kate can do that. Dealing with pampered people who think the world revolves around them? Yup, she can do that too. Standing up for herself while under scrutiny by odd-looking men? Yup, been there. And she's got business skills to boot, considering she's turned herself and her kids into a brand of some sort. Not only would this momtrepreneur be good on this show, she could actually win.
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Watch TWoP's editors discuss reality shows that Kate Gosselin should join in this segment airing on the New York Nonstop cable news channel:
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