When we heard about some recent developments in the world of television, we truly thought -- or at least hoped -- that they were actually just early April Fool's Day jokes. Alas, as far as we know, all of these are really happening, or have already occurred, much to our dismay.
10. Naima's reggae performance
Was she serious? Because that was possibly the funniest thing we've ever seen on American Idol. Ever. She wore a skintight white suit with little Jamaican flag-colored patches and sang a reggae-fied version of "I'm Still Standing" complete with a fake accent. Was she just tired of the show and trying to sabotage herself? We're still baffled.
9. Extreme Couponing is a show on television
Has the reality well really run so dry that we're stuck with a series about people cutting coupons in order to save money on their household bills? Yes, they get points for originality, but that doesn't mean that we want to watch reality shows revolving around people cutting up pieces of paper. What's next, Extreme Scrapbooking?
8. Hellcats is still on the air and Lights Out won't be
Not that Lights Out was the most ground-breaking show or anything, but it was a sports drama with some interesting twists and some really talented actors. Hellcats... well, it has Aly Michalka's abs. Guess untalented girls in minuscule outfits bouncing around will always be more popular than grown men hitting each other in the face.
7. A show called Good Christian Bitches! might possibly air on a major network
It seems that now that we live in a world that includes a CBS sitcom entitled $#*! My Dad Says, all bets are off. If nothing else, this is our favorite title in ages and if the series gets picked up without having to change it, we'll be secretly delighted but still incredulous.
6. More people watched the premiere of Body of Proof than the post-shocking reveal The Good Wife
Two episodes ago, The Good Wife dropped a major (we're talking jaw on the floor) twist on viewers. We were stunned and couldn't wait to see how the drama played out. But apparently more people wanted to see Dana Delany in a House knockoff. Yet another disappointing blow for quality (and Peabody-winning) scripted television.
5. Phillip from Survivor is a real person
It has to be an act, right? There can't really be an actual "Former Federal Agent?" who would be as nuts as this guy is, what with his mood swings, theories on game play and inability to read his surroundings or deal with other human beings, right? We still can't believe that someone like that would make it to his age and supposed profession without learning anything, especially how to pick his battles. Crispy rice is just not worth it.
4. Betty White is hosting a prank show
Seriously, we thought this press release got sent a day early. The Hot in Cleveland star will be hosting Betty White's Off Their Rockers, a candid-camera prank show where old people basically punk younger people. Are they punking us? Honestly, is this the best use of her talents? Do we really need another prank show? No and no.
3. Will Arnett got a new job
Did Lorne Michaels not see Running Wilde? Probably not - no one did. How else would the legendary producer have let Will Arnett take on the male lead on his new show. We like Arnett in small doses (Devin Banks, for instance) but after the mess that was Wilde, we're surprised that he landed a new series so quickly. Honestly, we'd have been less surprised if the fabled Arrested Development movie started filming.
2. David E. Kelley is doing Wonder Woman
We were trying to be optimistic about this awful-sounding idea, but once we saw the liquid blue pants and the corset that forced Adrianne Palicki's breasts into two different hemispheres, we lost all hope. And those photos of her running? The worst. Now we fully expect her to fall in a toilet at some point - though perhaps that's when the golden lasso will come in handy.
1. Mad Men delayed until 2012
Yes, we're glad the contract issues between creator Matthew Weiner and AMC were resolved, and that apparently no cast members will need to be cut, but damn, we have to wait until next March to see our favorite show return? Even Ted Chaough wouldn't be that cruel.
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