The Telefile

TwoP 10: Characters We Want Back From the Dead

by admin October 28, 2011 6:00 am
TwoP 10: Characters We Want Back From the Dead

To be clear, this list has nothing to do with characters we miss. When we write "Want Back From the Dead," we mean "Want Back For Full-Out Zombie Vengeance." Our choices have little to do with how much we liked (or loathed) these now-dead characters, and everything to do with how awesome it would be to see them return to their shows and eat the human flesh of their former cast mates during a monstrous apocalypse. Spoilers abound, so beware!

Charlie (Two and a Half Men)
Honestly, the show isn't suffering too badly without him, but if Chuck Lorre wants to see Season 9 premiere numbers again, he's got to reprise Charlie's role... postmortem. Charlie Sheen would take this job in a heartbeat, plus it'd give Jake something to do and Alan could continue to humiliate himself. It'd be win-win for CBS if undead Charlie eats all of those logos off of Walden's laptop, too.

Alison (Pretty Little Liars)
We enjoyed her performance so much in "The First Secret" that we'd love to see Alison in the flesh yet again. This time, she can be undead, turn all of the Liars into zombies (something tells us they won't put up too much of a fight), battle face-to- face with A and have one final showdown with Jenna.

Don Geiss (30 Rock)
When 30 Rock was in its prime, the conflict centered on Jack trying to impress his mentor and CEO of GE. We beg TPTB to have the late Geiss wake up in his cryogenically frozen carbonite and wreak havoc on the Kabletown execs. The TGS crew (and Kenneth, of course) could fight him and his fellow monsters, breathing some much-needed energy back into this show.

George O'Malley (Grey's Anatomy)
Shockingly, one of the other catastrophes the docs at Seattle Grace haven't seen yet is a surge of supernatural and epic proportions... well, arguably. Anyways, zombie George could show up in the military gear he never lived to actually wear and terrorize the place that led him to such horrible mistakes as eloping with Callie, sleeping with Izzie and deciding out-of-the-blue to enlist in the army on the day of his eventual death. Hopefully, the very sight of 007 will make Meredith cry again.

Rosie Larsen (The Killing)
Here's a thought: Bring back Rosie so she can finally tell everyone who murdered her. Then, have her go to town on the show's producers. No need for another season.

Alejandro (Desperate Housewives)
The final season is so awful right now that the only thing that will save it is for Alejandro to climb out from his underground plot (assuming Ben's construction team doesn't get to him first). He can immediately eat Carlos and Gaby, reunite Tom and Lynette as predicted, inspire Bree to open up a classy restaurant that strictly serves human entrails, date Renee and turn Susan and Mike into fellow zombies -- they're basically undead monsters as it is, after all.

Li'l Sebastian (Parks and Recreation)
Three words: Zombie mini horse. If Leslie could bring this Pawnee treasure back from the great stable in the sky, she'd get her county council votes for sure. Miss you, bud.

Mags Bennett (Justified)
Margo Martindale earned the Emmy for playing ol' Mags, and we don't think we'd find a single soul who wouldn't like to see this pot-growing matriarch return for (more) blood. Give this woman a hammer and some apple pie moonshine and just let 'er rip.

Gus Fring (Breaking Bad)
Before Vince Gilligan and his writers sit down this November, might we propose that they raise Gus from the dead? We know it's dark -- even for them -- but to have the half-face pollo hermano seek revenge on Walt would simply be amazing. It's not that we don't want to see Mike take care of Gus' unfinished business on his lonesome... it's just that we kind of need to see Zombie Gus and Zombie Tio duke it out, like, right now.

Miss Ida Blankenship (Mad Men)
If only this hellcat of a secretary could visit Sterling Cooper Draper Pryce from beyond the grave to exact revenge on the mortal souls who briefly tormented her corpse just to make a sale. How about this, Matthew Weiner: Miss B comes back for a Halloween episode just to kill Megan. Okay, okay, she can have Betty, too.

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