Pauly D's underwhelming new show started last night, but we want more from Jersey Shore than just Entourage ripoffs. Though honestly, given how little of interest he ever did on JS, we're not surprised. Perhaps the powers that be could see fit to give reality shows to people who might actually be entertaining to watch, and not just self-inflated hype machines.
10. Barbara (Teen Mom 2)
Inspired by all of her screaming at her loose cannon of a daughter Jenelle, Barbara could decide to open up her own drug rehab clinic. Think Celebrity Rehab, but with other druggie reality stars. Her unique treatment style would just involve her yelling at them about their lifestyle choices. She would be far more entertaining (and likely just as effective) as Dr. Drew.
9. Emily (The Biggest Loser)
The former Olympian was axed too early from The Biggest Loser, but now that she's back and fighting fit, we'd like to see her try and get her deadlifts back to the London Olympics. We'll watch anything Olympics-related, and it can't be all Michael Phelps all the time.
8. Ming (Comic Book Men)
He's the whipping boy for the guys at the Secret Stash, but he takes it all without ever losing his cool and charming upbeat demeanor. We'd like to see someone break him (sorry, Ming). Let's have a game show (likely on Spike TV) where contestants compete to see if they can make him either yell profanities or break down crying, in exchange for prizes.
7. Willam (RuPaul's Drag Race)
We're still not sure why she was eliminated, but honestly, it's possible that she just name-dropped too many other network shows. We'd like to see this glorified extra take her well-toned ass out to every procedural currently on television for auditions, where we can watch the door get slammed in her face and see her sulk off in her pricey Manolos.
6. Mark & Bopper (The Amazing Race)
These goofballs are already kind of their own version of An Idiot Abroad, so why not throw the motorcycle mechanic and his BFF on some choppers and let them roam across America? The nutty duo is likely to have some amazing misadventures, and as long as there aren't any maps or clues to follow, they should be fine.
5. Cathy (Dance Moms)
An episode of Dance Moms without Cathy is a wasted opportunity, so why not give her a spinoff of her very own? The Candy Apples could be clad in meat suits, dance in the parking lots at the opening of their local Targets and still have their ridiculously ill-planned plots to take down Abby Lee's studios.
4. Anthony (Project Runway: All-Stars)
Just think of Say No to the Dress, with Anthony giving cutting commentary on brides and pageant princesses to be. That's a show that we need, now.
3. CT (The Challenge)
We've found our next Bachelor, ladies and gentlemen. MTV can kick off a new dating reality franchise with this Challenge vet. He's unpredictable and often quick to punch people in the face, but he'll also toss on a thong in order to protect a girl he's into from freezing her ass off on national television. At the very least, he'd be far more entertaining than the likes of Ben.
2. Gary (Teen Mom)
We worry for Gary. Not because Amber could fly off the handle and throw a TV at him (though, admittedly that's a possibility), but because he looks like he's on the verge of having a heart attack. A spin-off could follow Gary's weight-loss journey, preferably with I Used to Be Fat's most awesome trainer, Joey, helping him out.
1. Colton (Survivor)
He claims that he has African-American friends... or at least he knows African-Americans who are currently employed by his family. We've got a feeling Colton is his own modern day version of The Help (are there outside bathrooms at his home?), and we'd like to see how it really goes down. And each week he could be forced to perform some sort of outreach program with people he doesn't think have real jobs, so he can see how hard life actually is.
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