Porn parodies of TV show are all the rage nowadays. In fact, they're so prevalent that 30 Rock has a storyline tonight in which Liz Lemon decides to cut out the middleman and produce a 30 Rock porn herself. However, they fail to mention the fact that there already is a 30 Rock porn. (You can see the SFW trailer here, if you don't mind a few f-bombs.) It actually looks like a pretty good parody, too -- the guy who plays Tracy Jordan actually has some really funny lines, and the Jack Donaghy character is sufficiently raspy. But while this particular parody seems to be faithful to the show, a lot of the porns out there take liberties that cannot be tolerated. If it doesn't work as a porn, just don't do it! Here are a few of the most egregious offenders.

Here's the thing, it's not that I am a Kelsey Grammer hater -- I watched way too many seasons of Frasier, he was certainly one of the better parts of Fame and I love me some Sideshow Bob. However, his shows lately have been terrible. From the dreadful Back to You, which wasn't funny and starred Patricia Heaton (two big strikes in my book) to his current offering Hank, I've got to wonder if he actually reads these scripts before signing on for these projects or if he just wants a paycheck and a producer credit.

It certainly could get better, as I've only watched last night's pilot episode so far, and pilots generally mean very little, but man, that was so disappointing. I wanted to love it so much, based on the cast alone -- Jason Schwartzman, Zach Galifianakis and Ted Danson -- and I even like the author the show is loosely based on, Jonathan Ames, perfectly fine. But this pilot was awful.

It was announced recently that some geniuses at Fox and Sony Pictures TV decided that it was about time to turn Heathers into a TV series, since everything else is being redone already. My knee-jerk reaction was that this was a horrible idea (and made me shout "fuck me gently with a chainsaw!" at my computer) but I decided in fairness that I would rewatch this iconic film from my youth yet again to see how they could possibly transform it into a weekly television show. Maybe it was outdated and ready for an reboot. But now that I have, I still think it is a terrible idea, unless they can get Tina Fey or Ryan Murphy to do it. Which they haven't.

The idea of adapting St. Elmo's Fire into an hour-long dramedy series makes us think two things: 1. Thank God it wasn't another Joel Schumacher film, like 8mm or Batman Forever. (Although a Lost Boys TV series would be amazing). 2. As good as it is, could there be a more generic movie to turn into a TV show? Half a dozen friends hanging out in a bar/restaurant? We can think of three shows like that off the top of our heads... although it's probably not a bad thing to want to re-capture the magic of a Friends or a How I Met Your Mother. Because you know every TV executive in Hollywood is doing the same thing, we dug deep and came up with eight other "Brat Pack" films (meaning films containing cast members of either Saint Elmo's Fire or The Breakfast Club) that are undoubtedly being considered for the small-screen treatment.

I tend to grade summer network programming on a curve. I'm not as harsh on these shows as I am with the fall lineup. Like Fox's Mental -- I made it through two episodes of the House wannabe. It's not the worst show I've ever seen, it just doesn't ever achieve what it's aiming for. So I figured I could make it through the two episodes of The Listener that aired on NBC last night, but I was wrong. I could barely make it through the first hour. Even with the very generous curve, this show still gets a failing grade.

Beloved actress Bea Arthur died this weekend, and while most people remember her for her roles in Maude and Golden Girls, I remember her best as Ackmena, the cantina bartender from The Star Wars Holiday Special. The CBS special holds a unique place in the world of Star Wars, because it's quite possibly the most awful piece of Star Wars-related entertainment ever made, and has been condemned by George Lucas himself, who had no involvement with it. Because of this, it has only been aired in its entirety once (in 1978) and has never been officially released on VHS or DVD. So anyone under the age of 30 who can speak with knowledge about Boba Fett's first appearance (in the special's animated segment) or Chewbacca's grandfather's love of holographic pornography has likely seen one of the millions of bootlegs in existence, all copied from the original TV broadcast. And while most of the original Star Wars cast members make brief appearances, Bea Arthur stands out as a symbol of the high caliber of guest stars the producers roped in to appear in this disaster.

Today is an interesting news day. For starters, I have good news for Moonlight fans, even better news for Larry the Cable Guy fans, and great news for fans of A Shot at Love. I also have bad news for fans of The Hills, which is also bad news for people who aren't fans of The Hills, and is in fact bad news for everybody, everywhere, who is still alive. Plus, now you can collect all of your favoritest, most boringest American Idol stars. Ask me how!

Happy Mardi Gras, people! I know I'm always insinuating subtly in these things that everything's better with booze, but this time I really mean it! It's your duty as an American to go find the bar that makes the unholiest Hurricane, eat your fill of nasty li'l crawdads and dance in the streets naked. Or maybe just the Hurricane part. Whee! In the meantime, put these spicy TV newsbits in your noggin.

It might be a longshot, but if Idol has taught me anything over the past few weeks, it is never, ever underestimate Tatiana Del Toro. Last night scared the hell out of me, not just because she cleaned up the crazy and yet managed to come off even crazier than when she's overtly crazy, somehow, but also because she was really, really good. At singing. I mean, I knew she was alright at singing, but sweet jeebus, in comparison to the other performances she was like the second coming of Whitney or something. And while Dial Idol is optimistically trending that Danny Gokey and Alexis Grace will take the top guy and girl spots, with likely Anoop Desai (my favorite!) taking the third spot, I'm still refusing to get my hopes up, for the following reasons.