MONDO EXTRAS

The 2003-2004 Tubey Awards, Part Four

Carnivale
That time that something actually, finally happened. Remember? That time with the…thing? And the guy in the place? …Anyone? Yeah, me neither, which is why I bailed out after three eps. -- Sars

Century City
This show was not long for this world, so what could the defining moment be? The Bionic Boy who really, really, REALLY wanted to shake off the dust off his Home Improvement years and play baseball? The fact that Ioan Gruffudd's chiseled features couldn't surmount his trial and error of 50 States of Accents and salmon button-downs? Or was it the day all down-trodden secretaries, assistants -- personal and editorial -- and every other lowly office worker dreamed of: suing your boss's ass to the wall. TO THE WALL! Maybe it was the idea that our genetically perfect future holds long-legged blonds. So yeah, defining moment? The world may never know. And honestly? The world's okay with that. -- Keckler

Charmed
Quite frankly, the sixth season of Charmed was all about The Pretty, and the rejuvenating spark with which his presence altered and improved upon the various familial relationships on a series that -- against all sense and reason -- is preparing to lurch into its seventh year. Everything else? Was ass. A great, big bucket of hot, steaming ass. Lord help us all. -- Demian

CSI
In a season that included broasted babies, roommate remoulade and -- most frightening of all -- plushies, it's hard to find just one standout moment. That doesn't mean we didn't sift through the endless chaff, sitting through countless lab-work montages and revisiting myriad eleventh-hour solutions, to find that shining instant which burned itself irreversibly into our brains.

And that moment would be the one where, moments after standing by while her husband strangles her clown lover Doodles, cuckolding housewife Mrs. McGuire holds up the dead Doodles's costume and smolders at Mr. McGuire beneath a layer of tell-tale greasepaint smudges. Because that moment led to post-clown-killing coitus, a mental image we will never, ever be able to shake. We know this because we've spent the last three months trying.

Of course, that same episode also led to one of our two positively-memorable moments: a clown/mime brawl. As for the other moment: we're partial to the scene in which Gil (William Petersen) encourages a road-racing Catherine (Marg Helgenberger) to keep going by driving alongside her and playing Vangelis's Chariots of Fire. For the 30 seconds that was on our screen, we remembered what we liked about the show. Without that 30 seconds, we wouldn't have been reminded once all season. -- Sobell

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The 2003-2004 Tubey Awards, Part Four

Carnivale
That time that something actually, finally happened. Remember? That time with the…thing? And the guy in the place? …Anyone? Yeah, me neither, which is why I bailed out after three eps. -- Sars

Century City
This show was not long for this world, so what could the defining moment be? The Bionic Boy who really, really, REALLY wanted to shake off the dust off his Home Improvement years and play baseball? The fact that Ioan Gruffudd's chiseled features couldn't surmount his trial and error of 50 States of Accents and salmon button-downs? Or was it the day all down-trodden secretaries, assistants -- personal and editorial -- and every other lowly office worker dreamed of: suing your boss's ass to the wall. TO THE WALL! Maybe it was the idea that our genetically perfect future holds long-legged blonds. So yeah, defining moment? The world may never know. And honestly? The world's okay with that. -- Keckler

Charmed
Quite frankly, the sixth season of Charmed was all about The Pretty, and the rejuvenating spark with which his presence altered and improved upon the various familial relationships on a series that -- against all sense and reason -- is preparing to lurch into its seventh year. Everything else? Was ass. A great, big bucket of hot, steaming ass. Lord help us all. -- Demian

CSI
In a season that included broasted babies, roommate remoulade and -- most frightening of all -- plushies, it's hard to find just one standout moment. That doesn't mean we didn't sift through the endless chaff, sitting through countless lab-work montages and revisiting myriad eleventh-hour solutions, to find that shining instant which burned itself irreversibly into our brains.

And that moment would be the one where, moments after standing by while her husband strangles her clown lover Doodles, cuckolding housewife Mrs. McGuire holds up the dead Doodles's costume and smolders at Mr. McGuire beneath a layer of tell-tale greasepaint smudges. Because that moment led to post-clown-killing coitus, a mental image we will never, ever be able to shake. We know this because we've spent the last three months trying.

Of course, that same episode also led to one of our two positively-memorable moments: a clown/mime brawl. As for the other moment: we're partial to the scene in which Gil (William Petersen) encourages a road-racing Catherine (Marg Helgenberger) to keep going by driving alongside her and playing Vangelis's Chariots of Fire. For the 30 seconds that was on our screen, we remembered what we liked about the show. Without that 30 seconds, we wouldn't have been reminded once all season. -- Sobell

Previous 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11Next

Comments

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