"Viva Buy-Moria" - Morgan Grimes (Chuck)
"Guys, I know Kung Fu!" - Chuck (Chuck)
"They're family, they're supposed to make you miserable!" - Bobby Singer (Supernatural)
"Welcome back to the land of the living" - Locke (Lost)
"I'm a Pisces" - Ben (Lost)
"Now look at us: Trombley hasn't killed anybody, I'm half a world away from good Thai pussy, and Colbert is out here rolling around fuckbutt Iraq hunting for dragons in a MOPP suit that smells like four days of piss and ball sweat." - Cpl. Josh Ray Person (Generation Kill)
"Yeah, three years ago. But now you're making it right....and me proud. You've been doing a hell of a job, Anthony." - Gibbs (NCIS)
"There are Sam girls and Dean girls. And what's a slash fan?" - Dean Winchester (Supernatural)
"A 12 year-old Ben Linus brought me a chicken salad sandwich. How do you think I'm doing?" - Sayid (Lost)
"I don't have a contract." - Don Draper (Mad Men)
"Oh, hell no." - Narrator (Pushing Daisies)
"It warms your ass. What a marvelous invention!" - Walter Bishop (Fringe)
"I'm the one who gripped you tight and raised you from perdition." - Castiel (Supernatural)
"Eat your brain? Claire, that's disgusting!" - Sylar (Heroes)
"Cake?" - Sylar (Heroes)
"Son, why are you letting Sam Kinison and an Indian lesbian wreck your wedding?" -- Dr. Woodcomb (Chuck)
"It shouldn't matter where you're from when love's involved. It's like that movie, Interracial Hole Stretchers II. She was white and they were black, but it didn't matter in the end because they were in love." - Dave (Flight of the Conchords)
"There's no such thing as bisexual. That's just something invented in the 90s so they could sell more hair products." - Liz, (30 Rock)
"I'm the prophet Chuck!" - Chuck (Supernatural)
"Yeah, well, we're making it up as we go." - Castiel (Supernatural)
"Still, you have to admit, I am very British. I don't say hard R's." - Adelle DeWitt (Dollhouse)
"It's kiss my ass time." - Vic Mackey (The Shield)
"Behave yourself, would you? No homework. Watch some porn." - Dean Winchester (Supernatural)
"My mother taught me." - Ben (Lost)
"Dr. Greene, you coming?" - Carter (ER)
"I crawl through two miles of ventilation shaft, following life signs on this thing, and who do I find? Mickey Mouse!" - Captain Jack Harkness (Doctor Who)
"It doesn't matter what we do. Whatever happened, happened." - Daniel Faraday (Lost)
"Yes, there's indignation enough for everyone to have seconds." - Adelle DeWitt (Dollhouse)
"Lower primate my ass. I recognize a military formation when I see one." - Lassiter (Pysch)
"I need a bigger gun." - Charlie Crews (Life)
"So sorry, Colonel. But congratulations on that chicken franchise you always wanted." - Chuck (Chuck)
"Oh, I'm a gonna get my Buffy on!" - Wendy (The Middleman)
"My father beat the hell out of me. All it did was make me fantasize about the day I could murder him". - Don Draper (Mad Men)
"That douche is my dad.' - Miles (Lost)
"Chloe Sullivan does not die." - Clark (Smallville)
"New Jersey, wow. I'd love to go with you but I got a lot of shit going on in the States right now." - Dave (Flight of the Conchords)
"Because I cut the brakes! Wild card, bitches!" - Charlie (It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia)
"I called your apartment. The guy who answered said you'd probably be here. He also asked me if I had any hash." - Gabriel (Gossip Girl)
"Ignore her, probie, she's suffering Gibbs withdrawal. Transferring it onto you because of a deep seeded fear that Gibbs may withhold love and give her a first time head slap if he came back and saw his desk festooned in balloons and decorated like some tacky Tiki bar with messages of affection written possibly in blood. She ain't missin' you at all! In fact I can't think of a single person who's missing you." - Tony (NCIS)
"I just want you to know, there are worlds out there. Safe in the sky because of her. That there are people living in the light, and singing songs of Donna Noble. A thousand, million light years away. They will never forget her, while she can never remember. But for one moment... one shining moment... she was the most important woman in the whole wide universe." - The Doctor (Doctor Who)
"Oh you know nothing of humans, and that will be your downfall." - Harriet Jones (Doctor Who)
"I'm tired of pretending." - Tony (NCIS)
“I needed that pain to get to where I am now." - Locke (Lost)
"'Money before people,' that's the company motto. Engraved on the lobby floor. It just looks more heroic in Latin." - Veronica (Better off Ted)
"I'm cuddly bitch! Deal with it! - Marshall (How I Met Your Mother)
"Do you know how hard it is to get revenge when your enemy is changing every five minutes?" - Blair (Gossip Girl)
"It's so hard finding obedient minions." - Blair (Gossip Girl)
"This never happened. It will shock you how much it never happened." - Don Draper (Mad Men)
"I cannot wait until Yoo hits his justifying stride. We'll be seeing columns like 'Technically It Was the Condom that Was Cheating,' 'Taking Candy From a Baby: It’s Not Like the Baby Paid for It,' and 'Oh, So Now It’s My Fault Kittens in a Sack Can’t Swim.'" - Stephen Colbert (The Colbert Report)
"You're a disgrace to your stereotype." - House (House)
"Where did I put that rat's ass I could give?" - Emerson (Pushing Daisies)
"Nothing stresses me out except having to seek the approval of my inferiors." - Dwight (The Office)
"I'm sorry your girlfriend turned out to be a Cylon." - McGee (NCIS)
"I am too upset to be confined by your logic right now!" Aasif (The Daily Show)
"She went crazy. She bit off my nutsack, that I kept tied around my belt to feed the squirrels." - Kenneth (30 Rock)
"What about you?" - Jacob (Lost)
"Don't fuck it up." - RuPaul (RuPaul's Drag Race)
"High five, turtle!" - Matt Parkman (Heroes)
"She's like the master of swallowing.” - Josh Duggar (18 Kids & Counting)
"I'm sure Agent Dunham knows what a penis looks like!" - Walter Bishop (Fringe)
"I didn’t account for traffic." - Ben (Lost)
"Wait a second... we're not going to Guam, are we?" - Frank Lapidus (Lost)
"...vertical and lactose intolerant!" - Veronica (Better Off Ted)
"Oh, look: A dumb idea just found a friend." - Emerson (Pushing Daises)
"Don't fall in love with me, kid." - Meredith (The Office)
"You must excuse my friend, she's from Barcelona." - The Doctor (Doctor Who)
"Sometimes you gotta look reality in the face and say 'no!'" - Ben (Reaper)
"It's Miley!" - Off-screen voice (The Soup)
"Oh, Chuck me!" -- Casey (Chuck)
"You should show me some respect." - Castiel (Supernatural)
"You can't kill me with that radiator; it is far too confined in this car for you to get the appropriate torque." - Chuck (Chuck)
"You know what Daddy used to say: 'God gave you a big sister instead of a brain.'" - Meredith (Heroes)
"Starbuck, what do you hear" - Bill Adama (Battlestar Galactica)
"I'm the Devil. I don't chase tail, Sam. Tail chases me." - The Devil (Reaper)
"Our balls are in your court." - Michael Scott (The Office)
"Bazinga!" - Sheldon (The Big Bang Theory)
"Jim, you're six eleven and you weigh ninety pounds, Gumby has a better body than you." - Michael Scott (The Office)
"Isn't there a Slanket somewhere you should be filling with your farts?" - Elisa (30 Rock)
"Maverick." - Tina Fey as Sarah Palin (Saturday Night Life)
"I warned you Shawn, firefighters are trouble. I did everything in my power to keep you off the pole!" - Henry (Psych)
"She's twenty pounds of crazy in a five pound bag." - Eliot (Leverage)
"He looks like a cartoon pilot." - Liz (30 Rock)
"Medical scammers - like pimps, drug dealers, or feral dogs - need to protect their territory." - Michael Westen (Burn Notice)
"It's possible heaven has a hardware problem." - John Henry (Terminator: TSCC)
"You haven't seen my drawer of inappropriate starches?" - Topher (Dollhouse)
"I have a pornographic memory." - Amanda (Ugly Betty)
"In a tragic story of obsessive hobbying turned deadly, an NCIS agent was discovered in his basement crushed between a large, homemade boat and an even larger bottle of bourbon. Film at eleven!" - Tony (NCIS)
"Not to rush you or anything, but you are keeping two entire civilizations waiting." - Cavil (Battlestar Galactica)
"Damn that mother chucker!" - Blair (Gossip Girl)
"What about me?" - Ben (Lost)
"Brendan's the dragon, I'm the dragon-slayer." - Coach (Survivor)
"It's still a felony!" - Off-screen voice (The Soup)
"You can fire me, but bitch, don't think you can take me!" - Echo (Dollhouse)
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