Season 9, Episode 6

Episode Report Card
admin: F | 2 USERS: A+
Pablo Picasso Never Got Called An A-hole

We're in Barcelona now. Desiree loves the "buildings" and the "churches" and -- as with EVERY SINGLE OTHER PLACE THIS SHOW VISITS -- it is "the perfect place to fall in love." She says she hopes her future husband is here. Ah, she's looking for a Spaniard, huh? Oh, wait, she means one of the eight remaining cautionary examples who have followed her to Barcelona, but that seems pretty implausible. One of them is Zak, who says, "People always fall in love with the Spanish culture."

Since Ben has been ousted, all hatred is now focused on James, because we're reminded that he apparently has his eye on becoming the next Bachelor. The dudes are having beers at a little outdoor patio when Chris Harrison strolls up to tell them what the dates are this week, and to inform them that there will be no cocktail party this time around, but he doesn't say why, just that they should make the most of the time they do get with Desiree.

The first date card is just for Drew: "Let's build a foundation for love," it says, and Drew is all "My ship has finally come in!" about it. He meets Desiree in the middle of the city, and Desiree says she feels her relationship with Drew has been a little slower than it was with the other two-dozen men she has dated in the last little while. So she's excited that he planted a big ol' smooch on her as soon as he showed up. In talking heads, they each (independently? Yeah, right) refer to Drew as "reserved."

Oh god, now he's talking about how there are some things about him that she "needs to know." That's almost NEVER true. They sit down for tapas, and the soppy music starts up when Drew tells all of North America that his father is an alcoholic, and it appears that Drew found out only when his father started getting help for it? Not clear on that. But that would mean either his father was a pretty good alcoholic (or a bad alcoholic, depending on how you look at it). And he's Drew's hero because he's sober, and now he helps people! That's good! Oh, wait, he also has cancer. That's bad! "I really don't think very many people know he has cancer," says Drew, who just blabbed it on American television. Desiree is pleased by Drew's offering of family secrets. "There's something about him I just trust, and I want to see where it will go," she says. Well, as long as you don't trust him to keep your secrets, I guess.

And now it's Barcelona: After Dark! Desiree decides the presence of street musicians means they're "officially in Spain," whatever that means. At dinner, she thanks Drew for opening up to her. "I'm being overcome with these emotions, and I need to steal her away," says Drew, who I'm starting to think has his and Desiree's initials written in hearts all over his social studies binder. He grabs her and pulls her outside for a totally "spontaneous" makeout session in the corridor outside. Judging from the camerawork, the show might not have actually known it was going to happen, but they recover quickly. Total pros! Or, more likely, since they seem to have so many damn cameras going on at any given time, they've effectively made it look like the cameras were caught off-guard by Drew's impromptu makeout session.

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